I am curious to know when did you tell your friends and family that you were pregnant.
I am also curious to know if it was a IVF/IUI/Infertility treatment Pregnancy or natural, and did people know you were going through the treatments.
If you are not currently pregnant, what are you plans for when you do get pregnant.
Thanks for the input!
17 comments:
I told my brother pretty early on, maybe 7 weeks, and I had to tell my boss around 9 weeks because there was some work I was expected to do that my doctor said I should not do. Other than that, I told no one until about 12 weeks. I think my Mom was disappointed I waited so long to tell her, but I knew she would unintentionally spread the word.
With our first pregnancy with our son William we told pretty much as soon as we found out (but I was already 2.5 months along). After losing our son William at 14 weeks we have been very cautious. Now we knew at our first Ultrasound that William more than likely wasn't going to make it so we had an amnio. Anyhoo even though what happened with William was very rare we are still afraid of telling. I am 9 weeks along and I want to tell yet we have agreed to wait. So our plan is to tell our family at Christmas when I will be 14 weeks. As we get closer it is harder not to tell. Now my parents know because they have helped me out with the kiddos etc... when I was going through treatment etc.. And my hairdresser knows only because I called to inquire about the kind of hair color they have and she guessed that I was knowing that we have been trying. I am excited to tell everyone I just hope and pray that all goes well with the last bit of my first trimester etc...
As soon as I found out I was pregnant I had to make an announcement on FB - I know that sounds ridiculous but my blog is an open blog that was read by friends and family as well as strangers and everyone was just so excited I was bombarded with congrats on my FB page so wanted to do an announcement myself rather than have assumptions. Having said that though EVERYONE knew we were doing IVF treatment. If I hadn't been so totally open the whole way through I probably would have waited. Each to their own though! I know why people wait and it makes total sense but at the same time I have also read an article in a magazine about the damage of silence in the instance of a mc where woman find themselves isolated in their pain when they do mc because they kept the pregnancy secret so no one but them and their partner understand the pain whereas woman who shared had alot more support because people had shared in the joy so also felt the pain. Does that make sense? Good luck with your decision! Oh, and happy ICLW!
We are just in the process of IVF, so who knows about that - me and DH (of course), my sis, DH's brother and wife, and my parents, and one of my closest friends who works at the clinic where we are doing IVF :). But for the feature, I am thinking like that - the people who know that we are doing IVF (plus DH's mom) would want to know right away as soon as we know (and i don't blame them, they've been waiting for that for a loooong time), we have 3 couples who are our closest friends and i am thinking of telling them when i hear my babies heartbeat, and then announce the news at DH's b-day at the end of March (which will be over 3 months if this IVF is successful). That's the plan, but as you know, we make plans and then life happens :) Whatever decisions you are going to make about telling people, it's going to be the right one for you!!!
I told my mother 10dpo when I POAS. I am currently 8weeks today and only my warehouse guy and driver know about it as I was put on bed rest for a sub-chorionic hematoma. Other than that, if I can get past the week of doom that I am currently in, my 1st tri should be up around Christmas and I will make the announcement then.
Congratulations and good luck. Dee
I told my mom when we were 6wks 2 days b/c we were losing one of the twins and I needed help with my little guy. She told my brothers, aunt and my aunt told my cousins...great! She wanted them to know what I was going through, said they deserved to know...disagree there! But anyways, has kind of made our job easier, will tell the rest of the world around 12-14 wks. With our first IVF (this one was an FET)all immediate family and close friends knew we were going through it and they found out the day we got our beta back!
Hi there and Happy ICLW! Great question. I have never been pregnant so I don't know when to tell, but I've enjoyed reading your comments. I have started telling close friends that we have run into a roadblock. I didn't mean to, but a good friend asked if we were going to have kids and without thinking I responded, "Well, I haven't had a period in three months, so I'm not sure." It's actually been great having a few people know. Good luck; I look forward to getting to know you!
The first time I told anyone and everyone and then miscarried. The second time, I told a close friend and my mom and my inlaws. The third time, I did have it on my blog so people knew. I didn't want to tell family right away that time.
I am not sure if this IVF is going to work out but this time we lied about when the beta is as we don't want to have to share it right away. It's hard to recall bad news, and we've done it too many times. If it were up to me, I'd give anything to announce it later as I don't really like when people start assuming it is all going to work out and I am still so nervous after loss.
I guess you have to do what makes sense for you and your situation. The risk is if there are problems in the future, it is nice to have people who know, but having to spread the news is hard.
Hope everything continues to go well for you.
DH and I are currently in disagreement about when to tell. I have told a few close friends who knew we were doing IVF and know what we've been through the past while. They have been my support throughout my journey. I want to tell our families at Christmas, DH wants to wait a little longer. I didn't tell anyone about our first PG (which we lost very early). If it should happen again I don't know if I could get through without the support of my family. I will be about 9.5 weeks at Christmas and I am comfortable telling family at that point.
We have never been pregnant, but I think we will tell family and friends right away when we finally get pregnant. Most of the people in our life know we are dealing with infertility, and even if something were to go wrong, I wouldn't be able to keep that to myself. I would want their support. At least thats what I say for now ;) . Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I feel similar to Katherine who commented above me. I've never been pregnant but we are super open to everyone about our IF struggle and about how we are doing IVF so I think we would tell. I understand that things happen but like Katherine, I couldn't keep that to myself if it did so I mind as well get it out there when we find out.
Hi,
I am not pregnant but I just wanted to thank you for the post on my blog. I wouldn't ever actually inject extra drugs I just like to think I would. I know DH is the voice of reason so I like to try to talk him into things. Take care!
First off ....eat the cookies! Secondly, we told right away to family and i cant keep my mouth shut ...excitement bursts out....I don't tell people about fertility drugs unless they ask.. I am really open about stuff....but really it is no ones beeswax unless you want them to know....happy ICLW
Happy ICLW and congratulations! With my first pregnancy with my twins, we had shared with many people that we were going through IVF. I wanted the prayers and the support, and I was tired of lying about TTC. We had gone through 4 failed IUI cycles, and I didn't want to hide the IVF. That being said, everyone knew the day of my first positive beta, and it made me nervous to tell everyone!
I had a miscarriage earlier this summer from a surprise/spontaneous pregnancy, and I wish I had told less people. We told our immediate families right away, and many friends. My Mom told everyone she knew I think. When I lost the baby, it was so hard to untell.
I am actually pregnant again (another how the heck did it happen pregnancy) and we just announced to our extended families on Thanksgiving (10 1/2 weeks). I still haven't told my real life friends, and as word is trickling out I'm getting more nervous.
I guess it's up to you. With my first pregnancy, I was glad everyone knew, and I was glad I had shared our IVF story. Turns out there was nothing wrong with sharing, it doesn't jinx anything. People were excited for us, and it is so nice to be able to share the good news!
Here for ICLW. We told family pretty quickly - about a week after we found out. Selective friends found out early while we waited to tell everyone else until the second trimester.
Hi! I just found your blog :) This is an interesting question. I have never been pregnant, but I had to listen to my husband on this one...
The past couple years I was an open book. I shared with everyone what we were going through. My mom would call after all my appointments or I would call her. "I have two follicles... five follicles.." My mom would ask me stuff all the time.
After our last iui in May, we decided to take break. When we decided to do IVF, DH said I CANNOT TELL ANYONE! It wa so hrd for me at first. Now, I'm glad we havn't told anyone. I just tell my mom, "when we have something to talk about it, we'll talk about it."
We plan to share with everyone at 12 weeks, but my mom when I'm ready. I want to cry with my mom when I find out :) Praying this IVF cycle works!
Oh... not sharing every mom in IF has GREATLY helped my stress level. I don't worry about what others say/think. IVF is very controversial with some of my family/friends. And I get tired of all the questions :)
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