Good Bye 2010! Hello 2011!!

Wow 2010 has been a major roller coaster for us.  I can't believe how far we have come since this time last year.

I thought I would do a little recap of the Roller Coaster of 2010.

• It started off on a high note and DH and I left on New Years Day for a week long all inclusive Love and Drunk Fest in Cuba]

• We then started off on the adventure of IVF #1.  In February when I started  the birth control Pill I remember being so excited and filled with hope!

• At the end of February I started dealing with the side effects  of the medication, migraines, nausea and vomiting, feeling so horrible made things a little on DH and I, so we saw the councilor and things started to get better, I was filled with Hope again.

• At then end of March we got the news that the IVF didn't work.  DH and I were crushed, we were both trying to deal with it without talking to each other because neither one of us wanted to bring the other one down.  

• I celebrated my 32nd Birthday in April by getting completely wasted and trying to numb myself from the pain of yet another birthday with empty arms.

• Through May and June I continued to feel sad and numb. I didn't know how to feel.  I was up one day and down the next, I struggled with my feelings.   The decision was made to start IVF #2 with my first period that happened after my brothers wedding in September

• July and August started to bring back some happiness.  With all the wedding events in full swing, there was no time to be sad, with all the joyful events!! At the end of the month, DH and I got to travel to New York City for 5 days and had a wonderful vacation!

• September brought my brother's wedding to an amazing women that I am truly blessed to call my Sister (in law)!   Their wedding day also started the adventure of IVF # 2!

• At the end of September I slipped into a pretty deep depression.  All the feelings  from IVF #1 came flooding back, I was stuck in a negative spiral downwards.  The harder I fought to try to get back up the further I fell.

• Starting at the beginning of  the stims I got back onto my anti depressants and started to feel much better

• By the time Transfer Day came DH and I were looking at all the positive signs that were happening this cycle. 

• 7 days after our Transfer I saw my first ever second line on a pregnancy test

•  9 days after transfer the line was even darker

• 11 days after the transfer on Remembrance Day it was confirmed that I was pregnant!

• Telling our family and friends and having them share the excitement with us.

I still am struggling to stay positive some days.  I keep feeling like things have been going too good and  I keep waiting for something bad to happen.  I hate how infertility has stolen my happiness away from me.

For many years now I have been wishing for the year to be over in hopes that the next one would be better, but knowing that it would suck just like the year before.  But for the first time since 2005/2006 new year I am actually excited for a new year to come!!!